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You Don’t Have to Care About the Environment.

3 minute read, Blog, Gentle Living, Healthy Habits

But if you’re a big company, you should care that we do.

Now, I’m not much of a sign carrying activist (which means I’m pretty much in awe of those that are). But I do believe we have a TON of subtle power as consumers to shift the industries that are doing the most damage to the environment by voting with our dollars every chance we get.

Because the truth is, you, as a single person or household can recycle and compost and turn off the lights and take shorter showers until you’re blue in the face, but until the industries change, the actual, environmental impact we can have individually is minimal. But don’t despair!

Something like 100 companies account for 70% of the carbon crisis we face today, and they’re just not going to change until there’s a profit-driven reason to do so.

Here’s where we come in. We can create a better world simply by taking our cash away from the ones who are destroying it.

A really good example of this is the fact that by shifting our CONSUMER focus away from plastic straws, an entire silicone / stainless steel straw market was created. Like, what??

So yes, avoiding plastic straws keeps them out of landfills and sea turtles won’t eat them, but the BIGGER impact is when entire companies say “Ok, fine, we feel you, here’s a product for that. We’ll be better.”

The same goes for food.

Buying local and organic isn’t just better for you, it sends a message to the industry that THIS is where the dollars are. You can already see the effects of this with the explosion of natural / organic products available. It’s no longer fringe because we, the consumers shifted it.

The meat industry is massively disgusting and destructive, but it’s hard for me to imagine going completely vegetarian #becausebacon…so instead, what if we all agreed to support local, sustainable farms?

The meat & eggs at my local farmer’s market are organic, grass-fed and part of a small scale operation. You can ask the people at the booth about their farm(s). It tastes better, it’s healthier and by buying it, I’m not supporting practices that give me nightmares.

So put your money where your activism is. Buy things from artisans on Etsy, local farms, organic and plastic-free where possible. It’s better for you and industries will take notice and adjust accordingly. Don’t drive yourself crazy being extreme about it. Just make some swaps.

Cruel, destructive industries? Not on my dime.

I think this will help #gentleliving

3 minute read, Blog, Gentle Living, Healthy Habits, Nature

I’ve made a resolution. To post a blog once a week until December 31st just to see if I can do it. That’s 18 posts between now and then, which feels like kind of a lot, but I’m going to let go of judging the subjects / writing and just put it out there.

In this inaugural post, I wanted to share something I’ve been kicking around: This idea of  prioritizing living as gently as possible.

The idea of “gentle living” is really about finding ways to minimize the habits & actions that wreak havoc on ourselves, others, and the planet.

In an effort to come up with 18 more posts, here is a non-exhaustive list of things that fall under this ideology that you may see posted in the coming weeks:

  • Making an effort to live sustainably
    • Buying local and seasonally.
    • Eliminating as much plastic from your life as possible (including using reusable bags when shopping).
    • Reduce, Reuse, Recycle, Upcycle.
  • Adopting simple rules for healthy living
    • Make an effort to move everyday.
    • Eat simple, real, organic food.
    • Connect to nature, go outside, breathe fresh air.
    • Ayurveda.
  • Give yourself and other people a break…aka empathy
    • Nobody’s harder on themselves than…themselves. Be gentle with yourself. You’re human.
    • Everybody’s fighting their own demons. If they’re pissing you off, there’s really no need to destroy them…address it directly, do some self reflecting or just ignore it.
    • Perfect doesn’t exist.
    • Travel and open your mind.
  • Gratitude for the simple, little moments and things.

Those are just some ideas that came from kicking the tires on this gentle living thing. It’s all stuff I try to foster in my own life, and I thought maybe you’d like in on it too.

All this isn’t to say that there’s no room for hustle & grind. There absolutely is. It’s just more about balance. We (I) feel inclined to push constantly, and it seems like it’s harder to accept the natural cycle of ebb and flow in today’s culture. All flow, no ebb, amiright?

As the world becomes more insane by the day, it seems like a bit of ebb is in order. I really do think this will help.

But you’re like, really pretty #posebetter

3 minute read, Blog

Ok, guys & gals. Did you know that YOU are photogenic? Yup, seriously! What if I told you it’s totally not your actual face or body that’s making you cringe when you see pictures of yourself? It’s the fact that your face or body looks different than you expect it to, plus we are our own worst critic. Luckily, there are some tried and true methods you can employ for your next photo-op that will make you go, “Yep, I’m one SEXY THANG.”

Here are 5 tips to keep in mind the next time someone waves a camera in your face:

1. Know your good side

Look at some pics of yourself. I’m guessing your feelings towards pictures of yourself falls in 1 of 2 camps: “why TF does my face look like that??” OR “definitely gonna post that sh!t.”

I’m also guessing that in the pictures that DON’T make you want to run away and cry, your head is angled (even slightly) towards the camera in a consistent way. Aka your good side is facing the camera.

It took me an embarrassingly long time to figure this out about myself. Take a look at the below…

IMG_5093_Y

Cute Pic! Baaaad side!

IMG_5079_Y

Cute Pic! Good side!

These were taken on the same day (by a wonderful photographer friend I might add). And, I mean adorable children make any pic awesome, but the black & white pic is what I would consider my “bad side.” My face and body just don’t look right in my opinion. The second pic is what I would consider my “good side.” I just feel like I look more like myself.

If you can make sure that your “good side” is angled towards the camera (and of you can’t get on that side of the group, turn your face in the right direction), you will be well on your way to being “photogenic,” my friend.

And by the way I keep putting “good side” in quotes because this is VERY personal and subjective. It’s just about what you feel.

2. Don’t press your limbs up against your body

Hanging your arms limply at your sides WILL press even the most toned biceps outwards and make you look bigger than you really are. Popping a hand up on your hip can work wonders, as can simply pulling your elbows back and creating a gap between your arm your body.

IMG_8855

Good side? Check. Arm out? Check. Pic usable? Check.

Similarly, whatever is closest to the camera will look bigger (and conversely, whatever is further away will look smaller). So if you lean forward a little bit with your upper body, the rest of you will look smaller.

3. Posturrrrre

Chin up, buttercup! It’s tempting to pull your face back when you’re genuinely smiling, but try to keep your chin away from your neck, if possible.

And stand up straight! How, you ask? Pull your shoulder blades in towards each other and make space between your ears & shoulders.

4. Smile with your eyes

Yeah. Tyra Banks said this so it must be legit #projectrunway4life. But seriously, if you can figure this one out, you’ll avoid looking like a deer in headlights. When you paste a smile on your mouth, but the smile doesn’t reach your eyes, you end up looking a little fake / angry / crazy. Just a little crinkle around the eyes goes a long way to capturing genuine looking smiles.

5. Figure out 2-3 go-to poses, incorporating the tips above

Related to the above tips, if you figure out a few go-to poses for common pic situations, you’re way less likely to be unpleasantly surprised by how you look. Here are some common ones to figure out:

  • Groups: Stand on the correct side (see tip 1). If you can’t stand on that side, angle your “good side” at the camera. If you’re at the end, pop that hand up on your hip. It also helps to stagger your legs (i.e. put one slightly in front of the other).
  • Selfies: Ditto above.
  • Photo of just you: Angle your body ever so slightly so your good side is facing the camera, then stand up straight, shoulders back. Don’t forget you have arms. Pull them away from your body (even slightly). Chin out a little bit.

Overdoing any of these postures will look weird and unnatural. Subtly is the ticket. Either try them out in the moment and tweak based on the resulting pictures, or be super cool and try it out in a mirror.

See! You ARE photogenic! Now go do your little turn on the catwalk, you beautiful thang!

The Pain of Perfection

3 minute read, Blog, Healthy Habits

My mother calls it “the curse.” It’s the multi-generational, subconscious, uncontrollable need for tidiness and order. Our house growing up was spotless, beautiful, and orderly. Everything had a place, every routine was down pat. It was a really un-stressful way to grow up. Honestly, I think it shaped some of my best qualities. There was no uncertainty, just calm routine.

*Mom is #goals

Because what happens when it goes beyond tidiness and maintaining a calm routine? What happens when perfection is chased in bodies, careers, social situations, parenting and self images? Left unchecked, it can bring us to our knees. Trust me, I’ve tried.

Perfection is painful. It’s painful because we’re judging something (our situation, our experiences, our relationships, our body). When we judge, we label, and when we deem something as “bad,” we tend to wish it was otherwise. We are rejecting what is, and what cannot be any other way (at that moment).

We think things are out of order, our children can’t be controlled, we need to lose 10 pounds. We clean and clean, we obsess over calories, we make everything just so, because then FINALLY we can be in control of the “bad things” and other people will see that our lives are “good.” We’re so embarrassed when we fall short. What will people think!

But what if the ticket out of the destructive spiral of perfection is not to make everything perfect? What if the ticket out is this: Radical acceptance + Gratitude + Don’t care.

Things simply cannot be different in this very moment. They’re not good. They’re not bad. They just are. It’s scientific fact.

Labels tend to cloud our judgement. They elicit emotional responses. The dishes should be done, the kids should behave like I want them to, I should be a size 2, I should hostess like a magazine, I should climb the corporate ladder, I shouldn’t be angry. Should, should, SHOULD.

No.

Let’s use “I should be a size 2” as an example. I, personally, am NOT a size 2. Not even close.

Acceptance: My body size is what it is today. It cannot change at this very moment. I care deeply about my health and do what I can to make good decisions.

Gratitude: But damn am I grateful for what this body can DO. It’s climbed mountains, it’s created humans, it’s capable of things I couldn’t even imagine.

Don’t care: There will always be someone thinner AND bigger than me. I give caring about my body size a big, fat, MEH. But for real, people who judge other people for the size of their body are jerks. If you’re judging someone for their body, it says a lot more about you than it does about them. We’re all out here doing our best. Also #yolo.

One more example: “The dishes should be done.”

Acceptance: They are not done. There are 3 options. Do them myself, bribe someone else to do them, or ignore them for now. I can either change it, or not.

Gratitude: Having dishes in the sink means we have food on the table. It means the people I love were here.

Don’t care: Is anyone in danger because the dishes aren’t done? Probably not. Also, people who judge other people for having dishes in the sink are hypocrites and jerks. We’re all just out here doing our best. Plus, they’ll get done eventually.

We can focus on our health, and on creating a sense of calm in our households. We can aspire to do well at work. But join me in trying to remember to check our stress levels when it comes to all the “shoulds.”

What is, is perfect. And you are enough.

Your Thighs are Seriously Just Fine #newyearnewyou

3 minute read, Blog, Healthy Habits

We’re getting to that time of the year where those shiny New Years Resolutions are starting to feel like a BIT of an uphill battle.

Or at least it is for me.

But I’ve tried to make some changes this year. Particularly in the way I’m thinking about myself and the reasons I want to make said resolutions in the first place…And I wanted to share, just in case it helps you too.

The problem

I believe that in order to accomplish some of our most earnest self-improvement goals, it’s not enough to rely on willpower alone. Maybe you want to lose weight? Me too. Willpower is fine until you’re screaming “FREEEEEDOM” a la Braveheart, clutching a bottle of Pinot in one hand and a bag of Oreos in the other.

Deprivation doesn’t work long term. We’re not wired for it.

The Fix

The trick, in my experience, is to flip the conversation in your head. To go from self-punishment and deprivation to self-love, positive goal setting and abundance.

Seek to ADD to your life, not to lose something. Rather than cutting out all sugar for the rest of time, add vegetables to every meal and 30 minutes of moving-your-body to every day. NOT because you hate your thighs, but because vegetables clean your blood/curb your appetite and exercise floods your brain with endorphins. Yay! Losing dessert is sad, but ADDING more vegetables is doable. And eat the dessert. #yolo

This can work for non-health related goals too. Is your goal to spend less money? De-clutter? Do less of something? Ask yourself, why. I’m guessing your ultimate goal is something like freedom from stress, more resources for other things, more space, more time. The tactics themselves (less money, less stuff) feel like deprivation. But the GOAL is abundance. Keep THAT in mind while you’re tossing out that sweater you haven’t worn since ’03, and I bet it’ll be easier to bid it farewell for good.

I feel like we should make these healthy, positive changes so that we have more energy & resources for LIVING. Not to punish ourselves for being “screwed up” and different than the “ideal.” I mean, whose ideal is that anyway?

I get it though. I’m tired too.

That’s why it’s kind of a waste of our precious time and energy to worry about an arbitrary “ideal.” I don’t think we’d be so concerned with our dress size if someone hadn’t told us we ought to be. And then on top of judging ourselves, we’re also worrying about whether other people are judging us for not stacking up. We all likely have enough to worry about without adding THAT.

Not Convinced?

Here’s a helpful perspective I heard recently: You are basically THE rarest and most magical being alive.

Did things just get weird?

Ok. Put a more logical way…Your personal combination of DNA and experiences has literally NEVER been seen before (in the past) and will NEVER be seen again (in the future). You are actually, scientifically, objectively, unique.

So why waste another minute HATING the things that make you, YOU? You are not broken. You’re good different, and your thighs are seriously just fine the way they are.

Why feel like you’re on the outside looking in? You ARE in, just by existing. Self improvement is awesome. Doing it because we feel like we are somehow “wrong” is not awesome. It’s unsustainable.

You’re a magical, statistical impossibility and it’s time to start acting like one.