“I’m going to make everything around me beautiful, and that will be my life.” – Elsie de Wolfe –
So how does one “Create a life you love” you ask? Well, by actively surrounding yourself with things and experiences you love, duh.
But I’m totally not talking about going broke buying shoes…
Here, maybe this will help:
Imagine you’re on a desert island. Alone. After combing through the island looking for resources, you’ve discovered an ancient cave, full of ancient markings. And in this cave, you find a smooth stone on a pedestal with clear instructions to turn it 3 times in your hand, and it will manifest ANYTHING you want. Except escape from the island. What do you do? What do you wish for? What do you surround yourself with? No, stop trying to escape the damn island!! It’s an exercise. Go with it.
The point is, there is nobody there to judge you. What do you wish was there to pass the time? How do you choose to spend your time when you have endless resources but no commitments or expectations?
Back in the real world, it may seem like you have the exact opposite: no resources and endless commitments (usually to others). We don’t even realize we’re not incorporating any of the FUN stuff. The stuff that makes our soul sigh with relief and joy. The stuff that makes you feel safe and happy and cared for.
The beauty of this though, is that it doesn’t have to be anything crazy or huge or consequential. Just incorporate delightful things into your life. Period. And not just stuff you think is acceptable or “trendy.” For example, I love Harry Potter. When we were buying a new water bottle for my son for school, I spotted a covered Harry Potter mug – in the kids section – and totally bought it for myself. I know this is not “cool,” but I’ve been happily sipping away for the past month. It makes me unexplainably happy and who am I to argue 🤷🏼♀️ Are your feet always cold? Go get you some seriously cozy slippers. Do fresh flowers make you smile? Buy yourself some! Make your daily life slightly more comfortable, delicious and special.
I will say this though, it totally can be bigger than just flowers. Earlier this year, I realized I actually REALLY do like photography. I’ve had a DSLR camera for about 6 years now and have more or less just functioned with it over those years. Well, like I said, a few months ago I said to myself that I’m going to give photography a good ole college try and get GOOD at it. I wanted more of it in my life. I could literally spend HOURS taking, uploading and editing pictures. I get completely lost in it. Sooooo, I started to put more of it in my life. I got a nice lens (or two), subscribed to Adobe editing software and soak up tutorials, and make an effort to bring my camera out at least once every weekend. I’m definitely not the best photographer that ever was. I’m still a beginner, but I’ve seen my photography & editing improve immensely over the past few months and it’s made me SO HAPPY to have more of this hobby in my life! BOOM.
I’ve also been sooooo guilty of blaming my house for not being “sanctuary-esque” enough. Like, damnit house! Why don’t I feel calm when I walk in your door?? Then I look around, and realize hmmmm…if I were to just figure out a solution for that shoe clutter by the door, I wouldn’t be greeted by something that makes me angry when I walk in. And how about working on de-cluttering relentlessly so I can actually find things I’m looking for, rather than losing my freaking mind every time I need something? And what about a nice, glow-y salt lamp instead of harsh lighting when we’re relaxing as a family in the living room? And slippers. I highly recommend slippers.
And one last thing. Please don’t suffer needlessly. Fix things that just aren’t working. Cracked phone screen slicing your finger every time you try to text? Get. it. fixed. I firmly believe that having broken and sad things around you is bad juju. Just get your shit fixed or throw it away (I mean, probably don’t throw away your phone, but you get it).
These are essentially no-brainers. Make your life more comfortable. Fix your broken shit. Get a hobby. But, sometimes you (and I) just need a little more permission to breathe, rest and indulge.